The Survival of... A story that may force you to think

THE SURVIVAL OF...

It's not every day that you get a holiday from your so called hectic schedule. It's not every day that you plan to meet up your school buddies after a decade. Life changes from school to college and then further to responsibilities. Now when I need to work hard to earn bread and butter for myself, I know how hard my parents have worked to give me the life I am living.

The best thing about Sunday morning is that you can sleep as much as you want to. But then in spite of waking up at 5:30 A.M I loved the morning, heading towards Jaipur for a get together come holiday trip with my school buddies. It was 7 in the morning and I just stepped into the train and occupied my seat with no eve teasers around. It's not that difficult to travel alone by the Indian Railways but the eve teasers doesn't let it be so easy as well. Anyways, that was a lucky day I guess. I knew it would be a tiring journey of 16 hours but I was still okay with it. The best part of travelling alone is that you get to know new people during the journey. Me, being a talkative person most of the times get a good company during my journey which is entertaining and you even get to learn constructive things from different people.

So it was just 10 minutes for the train to leave and then came a lady wearing a purple salwar kameez and a scarf on her face , may be because of the pollution outside. She checked her ticket and occupied the seat in front of me. After she was done with keeping her luggage under the seat, she sat comfortably. I gave her a casual smile for which I don't know whether she replied or not because she still had not removed the scarf. May be she didn't reply, I couldn't see any moments around her eyes. Anyways, maybe she was somebody with some attitude. I ignored her and was trying to listen to the announcement being made which said that the train would be leaving just in 5 minutes. Excitement at its Peak!!!!

Just when I heard the horn of the train, the lady in front of me finally took off her scarf from her face. From the corner of my eye, I was watching her. She looked towards the floor while adjusting her hair. She had nice, thick, long and black hair. When she looked up, I saw her face and I saw something different in her face, something weird and something which doesn't exactly define a woman's face. Her face was not too feminine, for the first few seconds I couldn't understand the structure of her face. When she finally looked up at me, my jaw was about to drop. That was not a lady, that was a not a person according to the normal definition of the society. That was Eunuch or we better know it as KINNAR or HIJRA as well. I felt restless after recognizing what it was. Do I call it as SHE or HE?

I didn't even know what those people are called as. In my mind, I was like "What the fuck is this happening? I can't spoil my entire journey sitting over here". I tried to keep my calm so that she could not notice me. Meanwhile, I realized that she was not just noticing but observing me. That thing made me feel more awkward. I stood up and went to the T.C for asking if there was any other seat available. Now my day was no more a lucky one, there were no vacant seats at all. I came back and sat down quietly with my face tugged in my hands. The way these KINNARS behave publically and treat men just to get some money, I always had fear regarding them. When all these things were running through my mind I suddenly heard a voice "You need not worry. I am not going to hurt you.Don't be so scared".

"What the fuck? How does she know that I am freaking out! I have to keep myself stable." I spoke to myself.

I still gave her a fake smile showing that I was fine. Just to ignore her, I took out a novel called "THE ELEVEN MINUTES" and started reading it.

"It is Paulo Coelho. The Eleven Minutes, right?" she said looking at me.

"Yes," I replied. The name of the author was on the cover. She must have read it I guess.

"Story of a Prostitute. How she discovers the pleasure in sex and turns to be a prostitute, loses her faith in love, thinks that eleven minutes is all that people need to get fucked and satisfied but then she finds her true love." She spoke with no pause.

I was seriously amazed this time. Eunachs even read novels! Holy Shit! Without any word I just nodded my head with a frozen face. She gave me a smile. "Hello, I am Raghini and I assure you that I won’t spoil your journey." She said and laughed.

I was still not comfortable but I couldn’t disrespect her by staying quiet. "I am Drishti. I work for a software company. I am traveling to Jaipur." I gave my introduction. "Oh! That is great; even I am going to Jaipur. We will have a good time together."

Good time?

Fuck you!

How can 16 hours be good with a bisexual who don’t even have simple manners." I spoke to myself.

"So, Drishti! Nice name. Are you going to Jaipur for some work?" She interrogated.

"No, I am going for a holiday trip." I answered.

"You are going for a holiday trip all alone?" She questioned again.

"I will join my friends over there. They will reach there by evening." I said.

"Holiday with friends! That is good. Lucky you! People like us rarely get a chance to enjoy holidays with friends." She told me.

"Yeah right! You people are always busy in bullying decent people." I thought in my mind.

"Why so? Are you so busy in your life?" I asked just to continue the conversation.

"No, not like that. I love traveling and exploring new places but normal people never like being friends with KINNARS, so we rarely have any friends." She told and gave an innocent smile. I felt something different from that statement. Do I have a wrong point of view regarding them? The way Raghini talked to me, she was quite friendly. I felt awkward when I saw her first but as she said, she was not spoiling my journey either. The next half an hour was just silence between both of us.

If you travel by Indian Railways, the thing that keeps you always awake is the CHAI WALA serving the GARAM CHAI. As he was passing by, Raghini asked him for two cups of tea- One for her and the other one for me. I refused but as she insisted a lot I had to take it. The tea vendor refused to take money from Raghini, may be because of her gender. Raghini spoke to him "Take it. I am just a normal passenger like others. You people need not discriminate us everywhere. This is your money. We don't take everything for free." He took the 20 rupees note, said nothing and left.

For the first time ever I saw a KINNAR paying for something rather than snatching money for somebody. Now that was something interesting. She offered me the plastic cup completely filled with tea. I thanked her. Now I felt, Raghini was not that bad. You rarely get a cup of tea from a KINNAR.

My phone rang, it was my mother.

"Hello. Yes, I am fine.
Yes, Maa I got my seat. Don't worry I will reach safely. I will call you when I reach. Bye.

Take care."

I hung up. Raghini was looking at me.

“Mothers!” I said and she smiled at me.

"Mothers are good. They care for you. It's good to see them happy, right?"

"Yes. My mother is worried about me 24*7. Sometimes it's too much but its natural." I told.

"That's cute." She said.

"How about you? Your mother must also be doing the same, right?" I asked.

This time I was interested in the conversation.

"Well, I don't know about her. I don't stay with my parents."

I went numb for a moment. "Why so? Where are they?" I asked her.

"Come on darling! Don't you know that our community people are not considered as the so-called normal people like you and the others with the male or the female organs? I was 10 years old when I left my home. My parents were never happy with what I am and I never felt any affection from them. The discrimination was right there since childhood. My brother got all the love, toys, birthday gifts, school , friends bla bla bla and I got nothing. So I finally decided to leave my home. I told my parents that I am leaving. My father just said, "Don't come back again." You must be thinking I was a dumbass to do so but the humiliation that we people face daily is something you can't even imagine. It hurts when people run away from you but it hurts more when your own family doesn't want you with them. I left home with 36 rupees in my pocket and the next afternoon. I didn't have a single penny. I spent them all because I was hungry. For the next two days I slept on the bench of a park and begged for money but couldn't get anything. I was completely exhausted. That was the time I cried. I never knew why people were treating me that way, maybe I was too small to realise that I was not normal. I didn't knew that being normal is about having a penis or a vagina between your legs. With no further plans about anything I was just sitting on the bench thinking about my past. Suddenly someone held my shoulder. I turned and saw a lady with a masculine face wearing a brown saree. She asked me to come with her. Her gestures were not completely like a lady or a man but somewhere...I related to her. She took me to a place and there were many others like here with shady makeup and bright sarees. They gave me food to eat. I never knew whether I did correct by following her but when you are really hungry then you can do anything and everything. After some time I felt comfortable with them, may be because I was like them or may be because they at least talked to me nicely. Days passed by and I learned many things with them. They told me what I am, TAALI is the identification of being a KINNAR. Life was not so good but still better than the past. Time heals everything so even I moved on with time." She told me.

I was completely in a different world when she told me about her. She was not at all what I had imagined when I saw her first. A tear rolled down my cheeks and I felt ashamed of myself as a person that I lack humanity. I just kept looking at her for a moment and she smiled at me. She adjusted her dupatta and asked me "Are you fine Drishti?"

I somehow managed to answer her. "Yes. I am fine. I am sorry Raghini. I shouldn't have asked you about this."

"Oh! Come on. I don't even share these things with anybody. I told this to you because you are the only one who accepted a cup of tea from me and didn't treat me like an alien. It's fine.

Life is good as it is."

I felt guiltier. Maybe I didn't show but deep inside my mind I was treating her like an alien. She then took out her phone and plugged in the earphones. I kept on observing her.

She took out a small mirror and a lip gloss from her purse and started applying it. After some time, removing the earplugs she said "I just love Asher Monroe and Enrique. Their songs make me feel rejuvenated. Moreover, both of them are damn sexy."

Asher Monroe! So she knew about international music as well. That was something cool.

"Anyways, I forgot to ask. Why are you going to Jaipur ?" I asked her.

Looking into the newspaper she answered me "Well I have a meeting there. It is about the LGBT committees in India and being the secretary of my locality I have to be present over there."

"What are LGBT committees?" I questioned her.

"LGBT stands for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transgender. We people together form a separate comity and this is followed worldwide. This meeting is basically about giving basic education to all the bisexuals in the country and especially the ones those who are into prostitution." She replied.

"What the fuck are you telling? How can a bisexual get indulged into prostitution? I mean they don't......." I hesitated to say further.

"Yes. I know what you mean to say. But when you have no means to earn your bread and butter, you have to do everything." She told me.

"Well I am sorry to ask but can I know what your qualification is?" I asked her as I was curious.

"Me? I have done graduation in Mass Communication. "She answered.

"But how is that possible? You left your house when you were 10." I said.

"Yes. I left my house but not the hope. I told you that later I got people like me. I grew up and learned with them. When I was 18 years old, I was asked to take care of my earnings, no matter how but you need to earn for yourself. So I got indulged into prostitution, danced in beer bars and did many other filthy things, after collecting some money I admitted myself to college and at the age of 28, I successfully completed my graduation." She told me with pride.

"Wow! This sounds amazing. I am glad you faced so many ups and downs and still made it at the end of the day." I said.

The train stopped at a station. I was too involved in our chat to see which station it was.

"Well that was just the beginning. Anyways I am hungry and bored too. Let's go out and buy something to eat." She said.

"Ok! Let’s go." I replied assertively.

As we both walked together on the platform, I could see people noticing both of us with some indescribable looks. At the same time, I noticed Raghini who walked confidently with the I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU attitude.

She asked for a packet of Monaco biscuits to the shopkeeper and whispered in my ear," You pay the money.He won't take it from me." I paid and we went back to our seats. While having the biscuits and the GARAM CHAI, I asked her "Raghini, you are confident and educated then why don't you get a job for yourself. People won't even dare to say anything at all."

She burst out into laughter.

"You think anybody will give me a job?"

"Why not? If you deserve then surely you can." I told.

"Did you notice the shopkeeper who gave us the biscuits? He didn't hand over the packet to me. He just threw it towards me. The so-called normal people can't even afford a little bit of body contact with people like us and will they be ready to give us jobs and work with us for hours? You think completing my graduation was an easy task with these shithead people?

You think I never tried to get a job? Rejection knocked my door at the very first step when I had to tick mark my gender in the form which was not even mentioned in it. People do not consider any third gender except male and female." She explained.

"I never ever thought about it." I said.

After a long pause she spoke "I hate silence. Why don't you tell me something about yourself? You look pretty. Tell me about your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend! I had one. We broke up."

"Oh! That's bad." She exclaimed.

"No. Actually that is good. He was dating some other girl at the same time so I dumped him.

He was an asshole." I said and we both started laughing.

"Since then you never had anybody else?" She asked.

"No! Not like that. Since then I never had time for this things. Family, work, responsibilities and all other stuff kept me busy and so I had no time for love."

"Well you should have time for it. Not everybody is loved by somebody." Raghini said. I just smiled at her.

She then took out some photographs from her bag and showed them to me. Photos along with her bisexual friends, the way they celebrate festivals, their tours and many more. I paused at one photo and asked "You even own a hospital at your place?"

"Yes. The government provides it for us. After such a long struggle of years now we at least get basic medical facilities and a third gender in all the government and private sector forms.

MALE, FEMALE, OTHER"

"You can't go to a normal hospital?" I asked.

"Normal doctors don't wish to examine our bodies. You guys think that we people go and touch every single man just for money?? But let me tell you one thing, if we don't do so then we won't be able to survive.

You people already treat us like a piece of shit so we are forced to do such things even if we don't wish to." She said.

I was just listening to her.

"See this picture. She is Shreja. She died in a road accident. She banged into a truck while crossing the road but nobody helped or even called an ambulance just because she was a KINNAR.

People treat animals better than they treat us. At least they touch them and feed them twice a day. Shreja lost her life just because she lacked the so called complete sexual organ."

I was shattered when I heard this.

"Well all this things are just day to day happenings for us. We are used to it. You relax."

Relax! How could I relax after knowing all these things! I had such a lame point of view about these people. Not only I but every single male or female has it. I felt ashamed of myself.

"Well it is 7 pm now and we will reach by 11:30 pm. I am too tired now. Would you just wake me up when we reach?" She asked.

"Sure, sleep tight." I said.

I continued with my novel when she slept, just when I was turning a page I saw a piece of paper coming out of her bag. I took it out and saw it. That was a family photograph of Raghini with her parents and younger brother. I kept the photo back in its place. I looked at her. She was sleeping in calm. Raghini told me that she was the secretary and motivational supporter of all the bisexuals in Mumbai. She fought for the basic needs of bisexuals and provided them with all the basic medical facilities along with routine checkups and AIDS checkups. She herself teaches the KINNARS in her locality and does every possible thing she can. There are many things people don't show, many things they keep up to themselves.

Raghini left her home when she was 10 and her parents never bothered to see whether she was even alive or not. She said that she never missed her family as they never treated her as a part of them. But if that was true then why she still had the family picture with her?

Man is a social animal. People like Raghini are also social animals. Even they need people to love, talk to them, share their happiness and sorrows. The time that I spent with Raghini will be cherished forever. I will make sure that I never treat any bisexual the way I did before and even won't let others do so. It was 11:15 pm.

"Wake up Raghini. Take your luggage. We are about to reach Jaipur station." I said.

She woke up. Thanks dear. If I would have been alone, I would have surely slept for 2 more hours. Anyways it’s late. Is anybody coming to pick you up? Or else you can come with me.", She said.

"No it's fine. Raghav must be waiting for me on the platform." I told.

"Raghav?" She asked.

"He is a school friend. He came to pick me up." I told her.

"School friend huh?" she winked at me with a naughty smile.

"Come on Raghini. He is just a friend." I said.

"Just kidding. Enjoy your trip sweetheart." she said.

"When are you leaving from Jaipur?" I asked.

"Wednesday night." she told.

"Then why don't you join us on Tuesday. You ,me and my friends. They will love you."

"Are you sure they will?" She had a question mark.

"Come on Raghini. You are a Rock Star."

"I know that babes. I will let you know if I would be free."

We exchanged numbers and finally the train reached Jaipur station.

"Drishti...." I heard a voice. It was Raghav waving at me.

"Is that Raghav? You didn't tell me he looks so hot." Raghini said.

"Raghini! Stop it." I said smiling.

I introduced both of them and Raghav had the same expressions which I had at 7 am. Raghini pulled his cheeks and I laughed while Raghav felt shy.

We both ignored him. We hugged each other and were about to leave.

"It was a great time with you Raghini." I said.

"The pleasure is all mine. Feels happy to meet people like you."

"Don't worry, we are meeting on Tuesday as well and will keep meeting in future."

"God bless you child" Raghini said.

We both left.

"Drishti ? Are you dumb or are you drunk? What were you doing back there? You know that was a HIJRA." said Raghav

"I will explain it to you Raghav. But now I am tired so shut up." I told him.

He continued hid useless speech while we walked to the taxi, I was just thinking about Raghini.

I am thankful to God that I got a chance to meet and know someone like Raghini . People are to be judged not on the basis of their body organs. A person is not complete and normal on the basis of what he has got between his/her legs. A person is complete and normal only when he/she treats every other person equally. I still don't know whether I should call Raghini as HE or SHE, not because of her biological terms but because she had much more guts than any man or woman can together have. The world where normal people like us live, enjoy and have fun is the world where people like Raghini survive with pride. I am glad there are people like Raghini with humanity, I am glad I presented to you THE SURVIVAL OF.....

                                                                                                   NEHA GORE