The Soul With Desire- My Inspiration

 Like the rest of the stories, this one is also related to my personal experience. This one is dedicated to a very near and dear friend of mine who inspires me 24*7. I won't disclose his name. I just hope I do justice with my words about the efforts he has made in the world. This story is not completely his story. But yes! Most of it is about the facts faced by him. My motive to present this piece to you is to encourage you for each and everything which has discouraged you at some or the other point of life. My stories are not too teenage stuff but more towards some social message but still it feels glad that you like them. I hope you like this one as well. Happy Reading!

THE SOUL WITH DESIRE-MY INSPIRATION

28 Oct,2015.

Chattrapati Shivaji International Airport.

Like everybody else around me I was also waiting to receive someone. People came to receive their friends, family members, colleagues etc. I was standing over there waiting for my inspiration. Sounds too much filmy! I know.

    Hi...I am Aabha. A software engineer working in Mumbai and having a happy life. People always say that I am a very unique, straight forward, sometimes rude but a realistic person since childhood. Well! I never thought about these things. They always say I never had too many friends. I can't connect much with people. This time it was wrong. I did not have so many friends because I had a couple of people much more than "just friends."

Since last 20 minutes I was waiting for him to arrive. It's good to meet someone special after so long. Since the last time we met as students till today when both of us earn, things and situations have changed a lot.

It is not necessary to always be in touch or meet every next day to keep the friendship alive. Real friends always know everything about each other even if they don't talk. Just because they are not JUST FRIENDS but they are REAL FRIENDS. Friendship never has a gender or age barrier, it only has a feeling of trust.

Just when I was about to enter into a System Hang state along with my thoughts, I heard a voice.

 "Hey Aabha!"

I could see him walking towards me. A very normal looking 25 year old guy. 5'7" of height. Not a very attractive personality physically. His spectacles were still the same when I saw him the last time. He had a black coloured traveller bag with him. He was wearing a blue jeans and a loose white shirt. He walked with pride and a mischievous smile which was pasted on his face since the time he was born. If anybody says that appearance of a person changes with time then I am sure he hasn’t met this idiot walking towards me. Even his hairstyle was still the same. Well his hair never had any style in them. He was such a face in the crowd which would always be ignored as far as just the looks are concerned.

Pratham Kashyap!

My friend, boyfriend, brother and father, all at a time. A complete package for me.

He looked tired because of the journey but still greeted me with a huge smile.

"Hey Blacky! What's up? You are still alive?" He shouted from a distance.

A few people around looked at us. The weird looks that they gave were expected. They must be thinking, the guy doesn't have manners to talk with a girl. Both of us ignored them. I was used to his such kind of behaviour. He always called me BLACKY because of my dark complexioned skin type. It was something that never bothered me. I would have been bothered if he would have called me Aabha instead of blacky. I could see he was happy to see me after so long. We just exchanged a few words over there and moved towards the taxi.

Usually people meeting after such a long time welcome and greet each other with hugs and all the insane stuff which they never do normally. Pratham was never such a guy. In spite of being so good friends I don't remember if he ever hugged or even had a handshake with me. When it came to girls, he always maintained a distance.

"So, how is everything with you?"He asked.

"How does it look?" I never answered him in a straight manner.

"It seems messed up as always."

He always had an answer to backfire me.

Just when we were having a healthy conversation, a man interrupted us.

"Excuse me, Mr Pratham Kashyap?"

"Yes" He replied.

I am sorry that I kept you waiting. Mr Jha has sent me to receive you. The man with the decent looks said him.

"Yes Sure. Lets leave. Just give me a minute." Pratham replied.

As soon as he turned towards me, he had a question mark on his face.

He knew I was angry.

I started before he could speak anything.

"Don't you even dare to open your mouth. I came here to receive you and you are leaving now."

"I forgot to tell you. They already made the arrangements for my stay.I have to go. See you tomorrow." He replied.

"You are still a jerk." I said moving towards the taxi.

"And I will always be a Jerk." He winked at me.

"Be there on time tomorrow." He said waving at me.

"You know I am more punctual than you. Good Night. See you tomorrow."I said. Both of us left.

I reached home, took my dinner and went to bed. I was thinking about Pratham at that time. I thought he would have changed a bit after becoming such a renowned motivational speaker. I was glad to see that he still had his feet on the ground.Pratham visited Mumbai for a guest lecture in IIT Bombay. When he called me up to inform that he was coming to Mumbai for a guest lecture, I first thought he was coming to attend it, later I knew that he was coming to deliver a guest lecture in IIT BOMBAY. As a friend, I felt great to know this. A 25 year old Vidarbhian guy with not a very charming personality was invited to IIT Bombay. Well! I must say he even deserved it as he was always someone different among the plenty of the people. He was always extra ordinary. He was always an inspiration.

He never treated any friend as more or less special for him. He always gave equal importance to all. He always had a very special place in my mind but then I was only a normal friend for him. But the fact that he always had a huge female fan following in college days can't be ignored. He always told me that he was fed up with the friend requests and the messages in his inbox. In spite of all this things I never saw him getting too much cheesy with any girl. He was always the Mr Favourite of each and every teacher. Sometimes he would teach the teachers how to teach in the class. He had almost all the qualities to get anybodies attention but again, he was not a show off.

I kept on thinking about him and slept.

The next morning I woke up at 6:30 am. I was so eager to reach IIT Bombay as it was a very long time since I had seen him on stage.

Watching him on stage with the mike was like being on some other planet. I bet if anybody would even take a phone call when he spoke. Many a times you get so involved in something that even after knowing that there are many other things to be done, you ignore them. You ignore them because that "something" rules your mind for that time. Pratham had that quality in him. He could mesmerize anybody with his words. Moreover he was a very fun loving personality to be with. With all such thoughts in my mind I was heading towards my destination. Travelling in local train in Mumbai is always a challenging task which can only be done by the experts and those experts are called as the Mumbaikars.

Finally I reached IIT Bombay. In the fully furnished royalist hall, there were thousands of people. There were the students of IIT Bombay, the college staff and many renowned people .All looked royal in their professional attire. I showed the entry pass to the gate keeper and moved in. I took my seat and made myself comfortable. There was a lady in blue saree sitting beside me. As the program was yet to start, both of us started to chitchat. Women! They can never be quiet for long. No matter even if the listener is dumb, deaf or just not interested. I managed to maintain a fake smile when she spoke but my eyes were constantly searching Pratham.

 All of a sudden there was a silence and only the anchor was the one to speak.She was a preety girl,may be in her 20's speaking confidently. I was sure Pratham would have checked her out for a long time. I said that he maintained a distance from girls, I never said that he never flirted. Flirting is a natural tendency of any guy. She welcomed all the guests and audiences and finally invited Pratham on the stage. He walked up with full confidence and among all the people I was the only one to clap for him as if I was sitting in a stadium watching the FIFA finals and Messi just kicked a goal! Everybody gave me a confused look. May be I was not supposed to do that or maybe they won't understand it now because they haven't heard Pratham ever.

Pratham held the mike, cleared his throat and started to speak. He greeted the audience firstly and further moved towards the topic. He spoke about how and why Youth can make a difference to the country. He spoke about how a responsible 70 year old man can be counted as a youngster and how a 24 year old brat can spoil things. I took a look at the audience once. He had already hypnotised the complete auditorium just in five minutes. I don't why but I always felt proud after watching him moving towards success and putting all his efforts to gain it. While he was speaking, he spoke about what impact family has got in the future of a child. That thing forced me to go into the flashback.

Sometimes you don't need any solution for your problem. You just need a person to listen to you and things get sorted within a jiffy. I remember the day when I felt too alone, broken and lost. I called up Pratham and asked him to meet me.

We met in a cafe at 8:10 pm.

"So what's it?" Pratham asked.

"There are many things." I replied.

"I can tolerate you. Speak up." He said.

I told him about all the things going on with me, around me and within me. When I was speaking, he interrupted.

"Once when you are done, just give me half an hour to speak."He said taking the sip of the pineapple juice and I continued.

Till the time I was done with what I had to say, he was done with the pineapple juice. He ordered another one.

"So what problem do you have exactly?" he asked.

"I don't have any problem. I just wanted to speak to someone. Someone who would just listen to me and not poke his nose in between." I replied.

"Ohk! So can I ask why did you choose me?" He interrogated.

"I don't know. I feel I connect with you somewhere. I feel both of us are alike." I was confused but somehow managed to answer.

"Well I am lucky then. I hope you don't start loving me. I can't marry you. My mom will scold me." He tried to tease.

"Shutup! You Idiot! You aren't so lucky to get married to me."I replied in a rough tone.

Both of us smiled.

As now as you are done with your stuff, it’s my turn. I asked you for half an hour and I won't take even a single minute more." He said.

The second pineapple juice arrived. He took a sip and started to speak.

"I respect the fact that you choose me to talk to and I clearly understand whatever you have gone through .You are undoubtedly a very brave girl. Now I want you to listen to a story."

I placed my chin over my palm and leaned forward looking straight into his eyes. I was eager to hear from him.

"My father was a labourer. He used to work on construction sites. He used to pick up bricks, sand and stones and earn for the family. It was my father, mother, my two sisters and me in the family. It is not easy to earn for these many people with 20Rs per day wages. But my father was a fighter. He never gave up or chooses any unfair means to earn. Things do change with time. My family's financial condition was improving with time as my father used to work day and night to feed us. In the morning he used to go on construction sites and at night he used to work as a cleaner on a tea stall.

My mother always insisted to help him but he strictly refused. He wanted her to be with us. Slow and steady, things were fine and the financial condition of the family was coming to an average range and then something unusual happened. ME! The disaster was born. When I was born, I was sick for 2 months and hence I was kept under observation for complete 2 months. As soon as I came on this planet,I took away all the money my family had earned. We became poor again."

I was actually having every picture created in my mind that he was uttering.

He continued, "My father kept on working like that. Once when I was four years old, in the morning my father went for work and my mother went out to collect cow dung.

We used to live in a hut and the wall at the backside of the hut was covered by dry sticks. My mother used to cook on the 'CHULHA' and the pigs would always try to poke in from there. Because of the pigs, there was a hole created and it became so big that a cow entered through that passage. I was sleeping on the floor. My little sister was six months old at that time and was sleeping in the swing. The cow came in searching for food. When my mother came back home and saw the cow standing in front of my sister, she shouted, pulled me towards her and ran out for help. That cow was a mad one, my mother told. Some people came in to help and tried to push that cow away with sticks. She got aggressive and turned her face to attack.

Her horns got tangled in the ropes of the swing and the six months old baby felt flat on the floor. All I could see was blood. Luckily somehow she managed to survive and is still alive. At that time I was too small, but I understood how many efforts my parents were taking for all of us. A child can't speak at his/her tender age and hence if he/she wants anything, the only solution is to cry and seek someone’s attention. My sister didn't even cry for 15 days. Can you imagine what pain she went through? May be can’t, may be nobody can. That was one incident which I can say was just the beginning. After few years, my father met with an accident and the doctor advised him not to lift up heavy things or to do too much physical work and so my father worked in a Xerox shop. Things were OK, we didn't have much to eat but it was far better than sleeping hungry.

One day, father came late at home, may be around 12 O' Clock. I and my younger sister Priya were sleeping. He came, mom served the dinner, both of them ate dinner together and watched T.V till 2 am. My father always tried to save every single rupee he could, it was not that he didn't spend on us but he never liked wasting money over unnecessary stuff. You must be thinking why I am repeating things, so let me tell you. That night my father went to bed, mom switched on the fan for him and she also went to bed. The next morning when she woke up, the fan was switched off and father was still sleeping. She asked him to wake up. He didn't respond. She went close to him and pulled the blanket from his face. He was no more. May be he slept permanently.

We all gathered around him, I couldn't understand what has happened. I couldn't understand why he didn't wake up. That was the time when my mother cried and she cried like anything. I have never regretted anything in my life. But I would surely say that I regret that I couldn't do anything at that time. I would have done each and every possible thing to save my father if God would have given me a chance. Death is never an easy thing, may it be peaceful or may it be harsh, the person who is facing it is the only one who knows how much painful it might be. In spite of that pain, my father cared for us. He didn't bother to call my mother is anybody for help. Instead of trying to save himself, he got up to switch off the fan.

May be he was sure that it was his last night and it is a universal truth that dead bodies do not require any fan or air conditioners. I don't know how much you felt and understood about his death but I understood that even at the last moment of his life he must have thought of saving as much as he could, just for our better future."

I was completely taken aback and my eyes turned red after hearing this.

He continued, "You must have heard people saying that if they lose their loved ones, life turns into HELL.I faced something different. When my father left us, I understood what REAL LIFE is all about. My mother could not take the shock and went into depression for two years. These two years she was in a mental asylum.

Me and my two sisters looked after the house. It hurts when anybody calls your mother a mental lady but you can't do anything at that time. My sister worked in an STD PCO and I used to follow a dual patterned schedule. In the morning I worked, in the noon I went to school. It was necessary to send good food for mother in the mental hospital just to make her realise that things were good at home. In our home the ratio for food used to go like good food for one member is directly proportional to no food for the rest of the family. But somehow me and my sisters managed.

After two years, mother was back to home. That was the time she decided to help us in earning for the home. Father never wanted her to work but now situations demanded it to happen. My mother is an illiterate person, so getting even an average work to do was not easy. She used to clean toilets in the University."

I raised my eyebrows in shock after hearing this.

"Well I expected this reaction from you. Any normal person like you and me would find such task to be filthy and cheap but when it comes to your basic requirements, no job is small or big. My mother never felt ashamed of her work. She did it with pride. She felt proud that she could contribute for the family. It was going OK. But again things going normal in my family were something that rarely happened.

My elder sister was married, she had a baby. Due to some clashes, her husband wanted to leave her. He took the baby and left her at home. She was very ill at that time. You are a girl so you know better about a woman's body. Breast feeding is necessary for the baby as well as the mother or else it may lead to various diseases to the baby and breast cancer for the mother. My younger sister was too young to understand this things and my mother was not at home during this time. It was only me to take care of my sister. The milk inside her body had to be taken out otherwise it would have led to breast cancer. I had no clue what to do!"

"Why didn't you call your mother at that time?" i asked.

"You think she would have been able to see her daughter that way. The physical pain was unbearable for my sister but it was nothing in front of the pain of being separated from her baby. I purposely didn't call mother. I didn't wanted to send her to the mental hospital yet again. We didn't had money to hospitalize her."

"So what did you do at that time?"I asked.

"Will you believe if I tell you what I did? The VAIDYA of the village told to take the milk out of her body anyway so I had to squeeze her breasts and collect it in a vessel."

For a second I didn't believe it and maybe I showed it on my face.

"See! I told you won't believe."

"No, it is not like that." I said.

"Come on Aabha. Your face tells it all. It's ok! It is obviously hard to digest for anybody.

It was even hard for me to do so because I was not a kid at that time. I was 16 years old and I knew what I was doing. I was matured enough to understand why it was necessary to be done. I never felt ashamed of touching her bosom. She was my sister and next to my mother. I could have done whatever it takes to save her. Even a 13 year old boy knows what sexual intercourse is and how to masturbate on watching porn movies. There are many different types of things with same definitions and many similar things with different definitions. It is just how you see and do them. May be it sounds too philosophical but it is life. It goes this way.

 Things were going slow and steady. After doing so many challenging tasks and facing some good and bad situations I understood the importance of expressing myself. Your feelings and emotions are worthless if you can't project them well. I remember my first speech. I got first prize worth 500/- Rs at that time. Then I realised, it is quiet easy to earn just by expressing myself in front of the audience rather than carrying bricks over my head daily. What I usually earn within a week, I earned it in just 15 minutes. From that day I started expressing myself to bring out a change in me and the people around me. My mother is proud of her kids. The happiest day for my mother was the day I received my degree of Engineering. She told all the neighbours and relatives.

Her happiness brought a smile to my face. A friend came to me and congratulated on finally being an Engineer. At that time I corrected him."It's not me who had became an Engineer today. Do you see that lady? That lady who used to clean toilets and feed us has became an Engineer today. This degree belongs to my mother, not me."

I was completely in tears when he ended. I smiled at him. He smiled back. He was already done with 2 pineapple juices. He called up the waiter and ordered one more. He offered it to me."Take it, now you need it more, wipe your tears." We both laughed. That was the time I realised what is the real essence of life. Life is useless if you don't have any problems. Because what hits you hard makes you stronger.

Suddenly my phone buzzed and I came out of the flashback. I was still sitting in IIT Bombay and Pratham was still mesmerizing people. I couldn't believe I didn't even hear a single word he spoke. He was speaking something about the youth and the fantasies lastly.

"Sex is a necessity for the youth. It is not wrong to discuss about sex or even to have it but then making it public is also not acceptable. It is one of the best things happening to a human being. So even if you expose it, there is a decent way for it. Sex has brought all of is to this world so better respect it than to make fun of it."

Suddenly the whole audience stood up to clap for him. Well I didn't understand anything as I was in my past tense but undoubtedly it must have been good.

Pratham Kashyap has always been an inspiration for me.

Every human being has got some problems but it doesn't mean to sit and cry over them. The day we realise that there are many people in the world who are facing many more major problems, then we realise how minor our problem is. Pratham and his family would have given up in front of their poverty but they choose to fight back and today Pratham is somewhere responsible for being a motivation for people like me. If every individual builds up the courage to fight back then having a Pratham in every house may lead to wonders.

                                                                                                                                              Neha Gore